I forgive myself for having believed for so long that...
I was never good enough to have, get, be what I wanted.
Ceanne DeRohan

Having a failed marriage, trouble getting work, keeping up with house work, upset kids was all my fault. I believved. Lately I have to come to realize these things were actually not all my fault.. I was dumped with ton of problems and left by the man I loved not ever having paid a bill, worked on my yard, sad children at mid life. I have stopped blaming me and started accepting I am surviving hard times. Surviving the hard timess is giving me strength.

Live

I could not, at any age, be content to take my place by the fireside and simply look on. Life was meant to be lived. Curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.
Eleanor Roosevelt

I have had my moments in life when I have shut down and hidden from life, love, the things that make me, me....... But I have come to see how foolish and futile it is. Hiding doesn't bring your husband back, keep your children small, find you job. Hiding simply an escape, and when you come out of hiding (which is difficult) The sadness, sorrow, loss, fear is still there. It's just that much harder to overcome. I try to face life, I do it by living one day at a time. jenni

Roads

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.-Jerry Seinfeld

Not everything you read or write needs to deep and moving. Some things can be simple and put a smile on your face. Jerry is write, there are reasons some roads are less traveled and there are reasons. Simple, true, and put a smile on my face.
Jenn

25 Random things

This is not a quote, but a cool thing to do. A friend asked on Facebook asked me to write 25 random things. Anything. This is what popped in my mind.

ok here are 25 random things:1.poor money manager. 2 need a job 3. love my kids 4. divorced 5. lonily at times 6. Cheerleading rules my life. 7. Popcorn makes me tired 8 have dog lily 9 my mom is my best friend 10. kids grow up quick 11. talking to a friend from my past 12. sleep is messed up 13. coffee and more coffee 14.will quil smoking 15.you only need enough 16. God provides 17. family matters 18. I'm 43 19. I get headaches 20. I love the sun and water 21. I live one day at a time 22. computers are fun 23. American Idol 24. Music makes me feel. 25. sometimes I cry and sometimes I just smile

I would love to see what others would write.

Learn

If I could wish for my life to be perfect, it would be tempting but I would have to decline, for life would no longer teach me anything.
Allyson Jones

I guess I am a lucky person and possibly very smart. My life is so far from perfect............Although I do have some very wonderful things in it. My husband left when I was 39. We share three daughters. I had to teach them and myself about loss and change. I am not able to find a job. Learning that love brings far more joy then money. I guess if we learn one new thing about life, ourselves, those we love and use it well each day our lives will be full. Jenn

Joy is what happens when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.
Marianne Williamson

todays word

what·not
play_w2("W0109600")
(hwtnt, hwt-, wt-, wt-)
n.
1. A minor or unspecified object or article.
2. A set of light, open shelves for ornaments.
pron.

usa

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”
Lao Tzu quote

I get so caught up in self pity at times. Why did my husband leave me, why didn't I get that 4th baby, why did loose the life I dreamed of.

Then in this new life, I ask why can't I find a job, why are my kids getting so grown up, why did I get sick...................

I need to stop and be Thankful for the small job I have, the fact I have three amazing daughters, and compared to many I am healthy.

If is ge stuck in the "why me's" , I will never have the motivation I need to become the woman I want to be................

Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.
Carl Jung

When I read these words I think of my life and I have known happiness, and great sadness. I do believe we need sadness to have happiness. Think of roller coaster going up, up, up the top the tracks. The excitement and the anticipation. Finally you go flying down. You feel so high and light headed. What if it never stopped. You could not take it. You need to level of and calm down, and be content with your ride...........................

Live

Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out if they've got a second. Give your dreams all you've got and you'll be amazed at the energy that comes out of you.
William James

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!

May it be filled with not just what you want, but more important. What you need. Jenni

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: You don't give up.
-Anne Lamott

I think this may be true.............Giving up guarantees failure. I hope to find a new job in the New Year, to be more organized, and be more social. I need to make to do lists, and not just hope for the things I want. I will have to wait, watch for opportunity and do a lot of work to reach my goals.

Maybe someday I will dare to hope to find a real companion to share life with.............

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